Couple’s Corner: JEALOUSY

posted by Rechie L on


Rodliz’s Nest

Jealousy with enough reason can be healthy but repetitive and out of reason can be a threat to a relationship and most of all to the jealous person’s life. It is something that should be taken care of because jealousy can be a sickness that only mental hospital can heal. Seriously, jealousy is a cancer, if you let it kill you.  (You can only find this quote here.)

There are some people that I know of having this kind of sickness. Of course, I will not type the names in here. I may say, I have a benign jealousy because I  took care of it before it got worst. I would be too hypocrite if I say I never get jealous. Hello, I am a human being. I guess, we all get jealous although we have our own way of dealing with it. I have my own way.

When I was in high school, I get jealous with my classmates who have new shoes, new bags, and brand new stuffs. I was even jealous with my spoiled brother back then he was getting new stuffs from our parents being the only son. That is materialistic jealousy. I was and sometimes I am jealous with people who were/are taller than me, those long legged chicks and breathtakingly beautiful and smart people. That is physical and mental jealousy, in short, insecurity.  And oh, the first time I joined "blogger", I was jealous with bloggers who can make beautiful customized layouts. I guess that is ability jealousy.  

How did/do I deal my jealousy and insecurity? I just keep it and use it to get myself be motivated in life. It motivated me to get better, improve my talents and my entire self. My jealousy and insecurity to the people became admiration and inspiration. It made me realized that jealousy or insecurity can't be bad all the time  because I used it as a helpful tool to improve myself and discover my own unique qualities. I didn't  and don't plan to let it Kill Me. 

When my husband and I met the first time, I got jealous with his ex girlfriend from Cebu. Every time I read her messages on hubby’s phone, it made me jealous. Why I read the messages in the first place anyway? Distrust to a partner that was which is a very bad thing. It was a mixture of jealousy and insecurity. God, being jealous and insecure is not easy, I tell you that. As much as I can, I am keeping my jealousy esp. if I see no reason but there were times jealousy getting in me intensely that I could not stop myself from asking “do you still love her” or “just come back to her, I guess you still love her”. I know I sounded so pathetic. For Christ sake gurl he’s with you, I kept telling myself that.

When we were engaged to be married, the jealousy with that Cebu girl was still there plus the jealousy with his work. There were times I felt like he was setting me aside because of his work when he couldn’t answer my calls at first ring and when he couldn’t replied right away to my messages. Sometimes I was thinking of him being with other girl at work. That was the reason of our fights most of the time. Later on, I realized it cannot do well for me and for our relationship. There should be trust for the relationship to work and of course, loyalty and faith. Recently, I was surprised when I learned that my husband’s workers at work know me because hubby had this picture of me displayed on his office table. I was like wow! Those jealousies of mine were of no use then. See, sometimes we are really so way out of line. Again, I didn't let jealousy Kill Me. 

Now that we are married, there are no reasons for us to get jealous with each other. He very well know I love him dearly and I have no plan on doing something bad that can make him jealous because I definitely know how hard it is to be jealous. It’s a no joke feeling.  As for me, I don’t see any reason to get jealous so far. My husband is being a good husband to me 101%. With the love and care he is giving me, i couldn't ask for more. The only problem I have with him now is his drinking habit. Maybe I can say, I am jealous with his beer. Lol! I don’t want him drink because that’s when he's getting guts of voicing out his jealousy.

To sum it up, we are getting over with fights regarding jealousy but we both have a quote for each other:

If you do something bad (cheat), don't let me catch you.

If you do something bad (cheat), I'll kick your butt. 

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